Word Work

I never knew you could get paid for blogging through a service called Smorty.

This is just gravy as far as I'm concerned. I've seen plenty of sites with advertising on them. And I've always questioned how effective it was. Other than making some money for Google and some pennies for the blogger of course. I've never been personally familiar with a company that advertised just on blogs.

But Smorty just lets you write a simple post and gives you some coin. Pretty easy actually. So if it seems like I'm writing about weird stuff, I am. But then you're probably used to just reading about Guinness the Wonder Dog (not to be confused with the upcoming Underdog), boobies, crazy people in Ohio, boobies and other goofy stuff.

So think of this as a change of pace. A change up from the usual goofy stuff I throw at you.

Don't worry, I won't completely sell out. But then I've practiced law and done public relations, so really, there's not much I wouldn't do for some cash money. But I'll never pull the Alex Trebeck life insurance thing.

Bag Man

If you're in Spartanburg, South Carolina, you might want to check out the new purses. That's right, Jenifer Steller has created something called the Bravura. It's a purse made out of a recycled bra.

Now I've known women who occasionally tucked a buck there, but never used their whole bra for a bag.

Don't loan your Bravura to your husband. He'll never be able to get it open.

Now I couldn't find a slogan for the Bravura anywhere. So of course, I took it upon myself to make up a few:

• Snuggle up with our bags
• Show off your Bravuras
• Gravity defying bags
• Let your Bravuras free
• Don't let anyone else hold your Bravura
• The best support purse ever
• Bravura lifts and separates
• The other fun bag
• Bravura is beautiful
• The clasp is in the front
• The second base bag
• No one will snatch this purse
• Recycle, Restrain, Rejoice
• Don't let your Grandma's Bravura drag on the ground

Feel free to play along at home, kids.

A Love Letter

I'm coming for you, baby.

And I'm going to take you for as long as I want.

You can't resist me no matter what you do. You're powerless against me. You're mine and I'm going to control you for as long as I want.

You've never had nothing like me. You're going to be worn out, exhausted and weak in the knees.

I'm going to make you ache, shake, grunt and groan. You're going to beg for mercy. But I'm in charge.

I'm going to drain you. You'll beg for my mercy, but it I will be unrelenting. You're actually going to be glad to see me leave.

All my love,

The Flu