Challenge Accepted

Because we've only had Paris' incarceration, freedom, re-incarceration and parental line jumping to distract us, morale is low. During this time of national torment, where is the media distraction we so desperately need. Paris is only acting dumb according to her collect call with Barbara Walters. And Paris has found the Lord. Better get right with Him yourself, dear reader.

Luckily, someone has stepped up to the plate and accepted the challenge. And while the national news hasn't picked up on it yet, it's only a matter of time.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that this woman, Sara White, may be the next runaway bride we need to get us out of our funk. Yes, Ms. White is engaged to be married. But she was going to go out on a date with a man she met on a phone chat line.

When she got cold feet about cheating on her fiancee, she faked her own kidnapping to cancel the date. Too bad her date called the cops. His bad.

"Basically, it was the only thing I could think of," Sara White said. Yeah, because that whole "I can't go out with you because I'm engaged to someone already" line never works.

Sara is still scheduled to get married next April. C'mon, Sara. The bus station can't be too far away from where you live and a ticket to Albuquerque is beckoning.

I'm not sure we're going to make it until next April though. Any chance you could make that a June wedding? We've still got 2 weeks left....