Election Eve

It's Election Eve in America and I'll really miss the campaign commercials. Now I'm a traditionalist, so we only are allowed to vote one time today and then we'll vote a whole bunch of times tomorrow. I'm sure the local tv outlets love this time of the year because it's got to be really easy to peddle the time.

In Michigan we're facing tons of crap with 5 proposals on the ballot including one about bird hunting. Seriously, we've got that whole automotive economic thing whipped, but we're struggling with what birds we should kill. I'm not making this up. Proposal 3 is "A Referendum on Dove Hunting."

One of the commercials claims there is a powerful lobby from California forcing one of the proposals on us. I can't remember which one because I leap for the fast forward button whenever this comes on. Yes, it's some cabal of high-powered entertainment types in California whose cunning plan is to get some legislation passed in Michigan in their quest to conquer the world.

One of the geniuses I know thinks the best way to run for office is to make something up, then come out against it, then accuse your opponent of not being against it. Your campaign platform could be to outlaw monkeys attacking babies. Your opponent will rightly point out that there have, in fact, been no monkey-baby attacks in the state of Michigan. Then you then accuse him of being in the pocket of the powerful monkey lobby. It's a sure fire winning strategy.

Get out there and vote tomorrow, kids. If you don't vote, you can't complain. And we all know how much fun it is to complain about the government full time. Remember the immortal words of Joe Walsh: A vote for me, is a vote for me. Make sure your dead relative vote too.