I'm here for you, Denise

In case you hadn't heard, Denise Richards has filed for divorce from her husband Charlie Sheen.

Yes, if you had less than three years in the divorce pool, you may be a winner.

Does this mean Denise is even more of a pain in the ass than we were all led to believe or that Charlie is an even bigger assbag than he plays on tv?

While I don't want kids, I'm here for you Denise. I know you're six months pregnant and already have one precious tot from bad Dad, Charlie. I don't care. I've had a crush on you ever since I had the misfortune to see Starship Troopers. Didn't know who you were, knew you couldn't act, but god you have a beautiful smile.

As long as you promise not to take any more roles as a nuclear physicist and strain the credibility of the Bond series any further, I'll make you an honest woman.

Ummm,, can we invite Neve Campbell to the wedding? Okay, okay, just asking.