Thursday, February 07, 2008

Lent It Be

While I visiting prospective employers yesterday, I couldn't help but notice few of the peons toiling for The Man bore the mark of Ash Wednesday. I don't know if that's because few of them made the church run or that there are only 9 Catholics in the entire State.

Lent for me? This year I'm giving up snakes. Oh and self-denial.

And just in time for the giving up something you really like season, Kirsten Dunst is entering one of the fine drug treatment centers here in Utah. Taking a page from Brit's book, she's hitting the Cirque Lodge which touts itself as one of the "nation's most exclusive drug treatment centers." Wow, when you're exclusive and name after the popular Vegas circus, you know it's got to be tough on the celeb. Thanks to the Reining Frog for clueing me in to my new neighbor. I'm going to run right down to Cirque with a surprise package of Spiderman Underoos to welcome KD to the neighborhood. Size XS of course.

So while some are being forced to give up things, others need a little prodding in the right direction. I figured rather than let people decide what to give up for Lent, we could decide for them. So here's the list of what peeps should be giving up. Feel free to play along at home, kids.

Kirsten Dunst - vacant staring into space
Keith Richards - horse tranquilizers
Mick Jagger - dating his daughter's girlfriends
Oprah - buying 3rd World countries
Hillary Clinton - going through Bill's text messages
Bill Clinton - brunettes (blondes & redheads still okay)
John McCain - lying about the money he took in the Savings & Loan scandal in the 90's
Barack Obama - referring to Hillary as "My Main Biatch"
Paris Hilton - pretending to be sober
Britney Spears - underwear and freedom
Matthew McConaughey - naked bongo playing
Jay Leno's Writers - Bill Clinton blowjob jokes
Mike Huckabee - break dancing
Fox Television Network - what remains of their dignity
Demi Moore - making Ashton join the Clean Plate Club each night at dinner

4 comments:

kitkat said...

Hm, I thought Brittney already gave up underwear? Somehow, I think she's more into Mardi Gras/Carnivale than Lent.

I'm sort of surprised to hear about Kirsten Dunst. I don't particularly like her, but she's one of the celebrities who kind of flies under the radar.

Gideon said...

I'm giving up bathing or showering.

Dunebuggy said...

T2, Did you give up your blog for lent? I miss my funnies!

Reigning Frog said...

Amy Winehouse: Rehab
Lindsay Ho-Han: Resurrecting classic dead celebrities that she looks nothing like (oh, and freckles)
Leah Remini: Being the friend of A list celebrities when you're on the E list
Britney: British accents
Madonna: British accents
Brangelina: Procreating (at least on Fridays during Lent)
David Arquette: Plaid pants
Dennis Quaid: His movie "comeback"
The Olsen Twins: Red lipstick